WWE Monday Night Raw Report: June 28, 2010

Courtesy of wwe.com

After lagging behind Smackdown last week, Raw picked up the pace dramatically and caught up to its blue counterpart. The eight men involved in Money In The Bank have been revealed and the main event has been set. There was yet another beatdown at the hands of Nexus, but on an unexpected legend. The focus of this night wasn’t on the wrestling, but that is what Raw is known for. Let’s check it out.

John Cena/Sheamus promo

Sheamus opens the show and wants to make a statement on behalf of the locker room. Instead, he brags about his championship victory. There is no reason for Sheamus to care about the rest of the Superstars; as long as he is intact as champion, nothing else should matter. That was a great heel move. Sheamus is ecstatic because John Cena is no longer the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship and he won’t have to deal with Cena’s armbands, lame slogans, and fans anymore. It was a watered-down version of Edge’s promo on Cena before Backlash 2009.

Just when you thought it was safe, Cena heads down to the ring. Cena doesn’t want another rematch, but for Sheamus to stand by him against Nexus. Cena calls Nexus out, but there’s an email from the Raw GM. Michael Cole goes to the new podium, adorned with a Raw GM seal, and reads the first email. It states that if any WWE Superstar attacks any member of Nexus, he or she will be suspended. Conversely, if any Nexus member attacks a WWE Superstar, he will be fired. Wade Barrett is not present because he is at WWE HQ meeting with WWE officials (In reality, his work visa expired and he is back in the United Kingdom until things are processed).

Buck Woodward of PWInsider made a good point in his recap, asking why the WWE Superstars would hold back considering Matt Hardy kept on being suspended on Smackdown, jumped the guardrail constantly, but was ultimately reinstated. i guess Raw and Smackdown operate on two parallel WWE universes (no pun intended).

Cena says that this puts a hitch in his plans and that he and Sheamus should have a WWE Championship match instead. EMAIL! Cole informs everyone that Sheamus will be in a match with Mark Henry.

Cena screams that he has been screwed by the internet once again (a subtle shot at the IWC?) and that he hasn’t been this screwed over by the internet since his mother cancelled his Warcraft account. There was also something in there about a Gmail address (which by the way, is gmail.COM, not gmail.ORG. Pushes up glasses). Really? I know Cena’s promos can be a bit overdramatic and hokey, but this is over the top. Why would Cena be in such a good mood after being screwed out of the WWE Championship twice in two weeks? He started off well, but crapped out at the end. Where is 2004 Cena when you need it?

EMAIL! Cole goes back to the podium. He looks like a middle school principal. Sheamus leaves, but before he does, a cage is lowered and we find out that at Money In The Bank, Sheamus will defend his title against Cena in a steel cage match. This makes sense considering the constant run-ins. Though the segment ran a bit long, it got over the Nexus/WWE storyline for the time being and set up the main event at the PPV. It’ll do.

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty & Natalya v. The Usos & Tamina

This match never starts because the Usos jump the Dynasty before the match. How many sneak attacks are there going to be? The Dynasty has been buried since winning the titles in April. I am afraid that we might see constant Dynasty/Uso matches like we saw constant Dynasty/Cryme Tyme matches last year. The Dynasty either needs to be pushed or drop the belts. In the spirit of Washington D.C., “Pick 1.”

R-Truth is a zookeeper? Must be a fun zoo. I am surprised that a former NXT Pro wouldn’t say anything about his Rookie, who happens to be taking part in Nexus. Oh well. I want to go to this zoo.

Vlad Kozlov v. Santino Marella – If Santino wins, Kozlov will become Santino’s tag team partner

This feud is better served for WWE Superstars, but I guess we can kill time with it. Kozlov wins, so there will be no team this year (Simpsons joke). William Regal shows up to congratulate Kozlov, but then attacks Santino. Kozlov runs off Regal and carries Santino to the back. This team might form after all. Too bad you won’t see it unless you watch Superstars on Thursday nights.

Trouble in paradise for The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh? Does anybody care? I still thought he was on sabbatical.

Rob Zombie/Edge promo

I completely forgot that Rob Zombie was hosting. Good thing he really didn’t. He came out to announce the eight men who would participate in MITB for Raw. Those men are: Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, Ted DiBiase, and Edge. I think it is incredibly lame that they didn’t earn them, but were handed them.

Speaking of Edge, we get the expected Edge/Zombie/entrance music spat before Edge puts over his MITB expertise. A very well done promo, but I can’t help to feel like I’ve seen it before. Edge calls out Orton specifically, which means that these two aren’t done with each other just yet.

EMAIL! Cole informs us that there will be a face v. heel eight man tag tonight featuring the MITB participants. Jericho and Edge teaming together? After they tried to cripple each other for two months? Continuity soapbox!

WWE Champion Sheamus v. Mark Henry

Sheamus wins. Henry looks bad in defeat. Poor Henry. Someone throw him a title run!

Josh Mathews is in the back with Nexus. Skip Sheffield beats up a PA. Said assistant is not a “Superstar,” so a loophole has been found! What will happen NXT? See what I did there.

WWE Legends/Nexus segment

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and brings out Ricky Steamboat, whose DVD drops today. More legends come out (Dean Malenko, Michael Hayes, Mike Rotundo, and Arn Anderson) to congratulate Steamboat on his accomplishments. This segment ran a bit long and I could smell Nexus interrupting. Guess what? They did.

To sum up what took about 15-20 minutes, Nexus beat up all of the legends, leaving Steamboat by himself. They beat up Steamboat, using a variation of the Nexus formula. What is the Nexus formula? Well it is clotheslines + Barrett slam + Gabriel 450 splash = beatdown. Tonight it was Otunga spinebuster + clothesline + Gabriel 450 splash = beatdown. This gets the group A TON of heat. I am really looking forward to these guys getting theirs, and I don’t say that often. Since I’ve grown, I watch more for analysis than for fun. But I still have fun. And I would have fun watching Skip Sheffield eat an RKO. Just sayin’.

WWE Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse v. Eve Torres & Gail Kim

This is the Diva’s equivalent of Dynasty/Uso. I still don’t think that Fox is ready for a title run, but she is trying to improve and credit must be given where credit is due. Her rise isn’t as prolific as Eve’s was. but it’s a start. The heels win, which makes sense to get Fox over as a credible champion. Melina’s return could not come any faster.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison & R-Truth v. WWE United States Champion The Miz, Edge, Chris Jericho & Ted DiBiase

This match was essentially the heels v. Bourne and Morrison. Truth pretyt much didn’t wrestle at all and Orton only came in for the decided pinfall. It was a good way for Bourne and Morrison to get over with the crowd. Orton getting the hot tag and winning right away with the RKO was different, but nice. We get a post-match brawl, but Orton stands tall with the briefcase at the end. A good way to end the show and set up the mystery of who will win in July.

WWE Monday Night Raw Report: June 21, 2010

 

Courtesy of wwe.com

Remember when the NXT Season One Rookies absolutely destroyed Raw two weeks ago? If I haven’t told you, that was one of the most compelling angles I’ve seen on Raw since the “PG Era” began. Well, that excitement is gone now because the WWE completely dropped the ball. I will explain more on that later, but last night’s Raw failed to impress. Sure, we had a WWE Championship match, but we also had some completely ludicrous things take place, too. Before I can continue to bitch and moan, let’s take a look at last night’s Monday Night Raw.

Vince McMahon/Sheamus/John Cena promo

Mr. McMahon is out first to open the show to address the Bret Hart situation. According to McMahon, he told Bret that he would have to make tough and unpopular decisions. He failed to do that and he was “relieved of his duties.” Well, it was fun while it lasted. In retrospect, how long did the WWE really believe Hart would stay? I was shocked when he was announced as GM, and other than making Batista quit and being jumped by Nexus (The NXT group), he didn’t make any waves (No, signing the Usos doesn’t count). McMahon says this is “closure” and I am not sure if we will see Hart again. If we do, please don’t make another lame “Bret screwed Bret” angle.

McMahon then announces that a new GM has been appointed, but that said GM wants to remain anonymous. How will he communicate, you might ask? Let me tell you. He will email Michael Cole, who will read the email aloud. WHAT. David Stephens of Wrestleview liked this idea because it allows the WWE to build up a GM without whoever it may be actually having to do anything. That is true, but really? Email? Michael Cole? Not only that, but it makes that annoying Apple/iPhone noise when someone receives a text message (or for those with Macs only, the noise when you finish uploading CDs on iTunes). We are really going to have to hear this for months, huh? On the bright side, it will absolutely confuse the hell out of my roommate, who is attached to his iPhone.

Cole got mail! The first order of business is for Nexus to receive contracts and that they will address the crowd tonight. I like that. Maybe the GM won’t be too bad.

As McMahon is leaving the ring, Sheamus’ music hits and the new WWE Champion makes his way to the ring. Sheamus looks forlorn and stressed. He tells McMahon that he doesn’t feel like he earned the WWE Championship because of the way he won it and wants to relinquish it. As McMahon reaches for the title, Sheamus pulls it back and puts a huge smile on. He had me. He really did. Yet, Sheamus takes the “I don’t care how I won it because I won it” road and even thanks Nexus for their “help,” even though he claims he didn’t need it. When Sheamus became WWE Champion in December, I couldn’t believe it. In June, after six months of gaining credibility, I’m okay with Sheamus as champion. He has grown on me.

John Cena makes his obligatory appearance and enters the ring. His promo was AWFUL. Why would you be smiling and joking when you just got jumped again and lost your title in the process? Like Sheamus, Cena is in a thankful mood. Cena thanks the GM for hiring Nexus so he doesn’t have to know whether or not they will show. He thanks Sheamus for his rematch clause and thanks Bridgeport because he thinks there is no better place for said rematch. I like John Cena. I really do. But sometimes, I want to duct tape his mouth shut. Duct tape? Really? Are you serious? (Sorry, Batista moment). The whole “let’s do a rematch right now” bit usually gets rebuffed by the heel champion, which it does. EMAIL! There WILL be a title match tonight and McMahon will be the guest referee. How anti-climactic. How will the no contest happen this time? Stay tuned.

Evan Bourne v. Chris Jericho

For the third time in a week, we get this match. Fortunately, all three have been gems, so there is no need for complaint. Jericho enters the ring with a brilliant facial expression and asked for yet another rematch with Bourne, putting his career on the line to do so. As soon as he said that, I thought he would lose (Jericho has a game show on ABC that premieres tonight). Yet, he did not, which was a pleasant surprise. This match was no different than any of the previous ones, but watching Bourne and Jericho is like poetry in motion (Sorry, Hardys). Jericho can make anybody look good and giving Bourne ample time to go over and display his skills has worked wonders already. Jericho wins when he rolls out of the way of a Shooting Star Press and hits the Codebreaker. Afterwards, it looks as if Jericho might show Bourne some respect, but slams him down to the mat. This “I am now the hunted” angle is definitely intriguing. I would like to see other up-and-coming Superstars (Yoshi Tatsu comes to mind) get a shot at Jericho. It could make for entertaining television.

Virgil is in the back and he’s a sad panda. Ted DiBiase enters and apologizes for his actions last week. Then DiBiase fires him. DiBiase has found a suitable replacement: Maryse. I ain’t sayin’ she’s a golddigger. We get the best line of the night when Virgil asks DiBiase what he will do for protection. “Go to the drugstore,” says DiBiase. Priceless (pun intended). This DiBiase/Maryse plotline will be something to watch. At least it gets Maryse out of the Divas division. Or does it? Maybe DiBiase buys her the Diva’s Title? Hmmm.

Josh Mathews is with the Hart Dynasty, who believes Bret got screwed again. Tonight is her debut on Raw. Finally, some new blood in the Diva’s division.

Natalya (with WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty) v. Tamina (with Jimmy and Jey Uso)

Yeah, so much for that debut. The match lasted a minute before Nexus interrupted to make their public address.

Nexus promo

The NXT 7 are in the ring and ready to make a statement. They apologize. Oh boy. David Otunga says they attacked everyone because they love the WWE and would do anything to get noticed. Weird. Heath Slater says it’s nothing personal. Okay. Justin Gabriel says…something. I think he apologizes to Hart and the Dynasty. Darren Young, who acknowledges the nickname “Black John Cena,” apologizes to his white doppelganger and vows that he will get his title back. Skip Sheffield yup yup yups and asks what it does. Michael Tarver apologizes to his children.

Finally, Wade Barrett gets the microphone and actually says something important and not incredibly stupid.  Barrett answers on the questions that I asked myself two weeks ago:

“After beating everyone else to win NXT, what does Barrett have to offer to the other Rookies? Is there some sort of incentive?”

The answer? Loyalty. Nexus made a pact that no matter what, they would stay true to each other. Makes sense. Barrett also mentions that he has received his title shot back and that whoever is champion is on notice. He says the NXT 7 have formed a “Nexus” (Oh! He said it!) and will stick together.

Last week, they weren’t sorry. This week, they’re incredible sorry? What gives. The WWE (who has reportedly been booking this angle on the fly) is dropping the ball. They need to get it together or what has been lost (DANIELSON) will outweigh what has been gained.

Zack Ryder (with Titus O’Neil) v. John Morrison (with Eli Cottonwood)

This match was supposed to be Morrison v. DiBiase, but DiBiase comes out with Maryse and says he has better things to do, like do his taxes or play Mouse Trap (He didn’t say that).  Ryder comes out instead and we get a match of NXT Pros. Good for selling the show, bad for entertainment. Morrison wins with Starship Pain. Eli Cottonwood is creepy.

John Cena is walking around in the back and Mathews asks him what he thought of Nexus’ apology. He doesn’t accept it. Uh oh…

Eve Torres & The Great Khali v. WWE Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Primo

Why bother? The faces win. Fox walks out on Primo. Wouldn’t you?

Randy Orton/The Miz/Edge promo

Randy Orton is alone in the ring and, unlike Cena, accepts the Nexus apology. Orton even hopes that Barrett wins the WWE Title so that it’ll be easier to win it back.

The Miz interrupts and says what a lot of people think: “we are tired of you in the main event.”  Miz says that in time, he will hold both the U.S. and WWE Championships, something Orton, or no one else for that matter, has ever done. The Miz jumps Orton, who gets the upper hand before getting speared by Edge. Edge tells Orton that the “real fun has begun.” A Miz/Orton feud would be (sorry) awesome. Not only would it give Orton something to do while Cena takes his probable spot as #1 Contender, but it would further push the Miz into the upper echelon of the WWE. What better way for the Miz to get even better by going up against the biggest face in the company for the second summer in a row? Orton has never held the U.S. Title. Imagine that title program. So good. Hopefully, Edge’s ominous message won’t screw things up.

John Cena v. Sheamus (with Mr. McMahon as special guest referee) – WWE Championship

McMahon ended up not being the referee, but more of an “enforcer.” Sheamus definitely had the momentum throughout the match, giving Cena a beatdown. It makes Sheamus look good.

Anyways, the match ends in a no contest (Surprise!) when Nexus interferes and attacks Cena yet again. After he has been disposed of, Nexus and McMahon enter the ring and McMahon takes partial credit for everything that they have done. Nexus surrounds him and they look pissed, but then they all crack a smile. McMahon says that Nexus had him for a minute. A minute later, he’s getting his ass kicked.

The good news is is that McMahon must not really be behind Nexus. Thank goodness. That would have been the beginning of the end in terms of interest. The bad news is how many times are we going to see the SAME ATTACK every week? Look, a clothesline, a fireman’s carry slam, and a 450 Splash was cool the first time. BUT NOT EVERY TIME. Clotheslines don’t keep normal wrestlers down. DO SOMETHING ELSE. Sheffield has a cool finisher. Use that! This is getting really old really fast. After what happened two weeks ago, the WWE is sinking with this. Fix it now or prepare to lose what was unfathomable momentum.

WWE Fatal 4 Way: The Prediction Results

Well, Fatal 4 Way just ended and I must say, what an interesting show it was. We had three title changes, including both the World Heavyweight and WWE Championships as well as a run-in by the NXT Rookies of Season One (or “Nexus” as they might soon be called). Below I have listed the results of the PPV as well as my selections from my “Predictions” column from earlier today.

Kofi Kingston v. Drew McIntyre – WWE Intercontinental Championship

Predicted winner: Kofi Kingston

Winner: Kofi Kingston

1-0

Eve Torres v. Maryse v. Gail Kim v. Alicia Fox – WWE Diva’s Champion

Predicted winner: Gail Kim

Winner: Alicia Fox

1-1

Jack Swagger v. The Big Show v. Rey Mysterio v. C.M. Punk – WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Predicted winner: Jack Swagger

Winner: Rey Mysterio (Boy, was I wrong)

1-2

The Miz v. R-Truth – WWE United States Championship

Predicted winner: The Miz

Winner: The Miz

2-2

John Cena v. Edge v. Randy Orton v. Sheamus – WWE Championship

Predicted winner: John Cena

Winner: Sheamus

Total score: 2-3

Matches not included (not announced before the show)

Chris Jericho v. Evan Bourne

Winner: Evan Bourne

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty v. The Usos & Tamina

Winner: The Hart Dynasty

#1 Pretender PPV Standings

Extreme Rules: 6-1

Over The Limit: 4-3-1

Fatal 4 Way: 2-3

Updated total: 12-7-1

Be sure to join me next month on July 18 when yet another new pay-per-view concept, Money In The Bank, comes to us live from the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri. Until then, continue to come back to #1 Pretender for all your weekly WWE analysis!

WWE Fatal 4 Way: The Predictions

Courtesy of wwe.com

Happy Father’s Day everyone! What better way to spend a day celebrating men than by watching other men beat the crap out of each other. The second new pay-per-view concept is ready for a test drive (a pun which would have been better used for last month’s Over The Limit, but I can’t be on all the time). Fatal 4 Way features, you guessed it, Fatal 4 Way matches. With Summerslam looming in the distance, the WWE is on the road to its summer Wrestlemania. Enough bad wordplays now. Live from Long Island, it’s Sunday night!

P.S. Five matches on the card? Really? Math time. A three-hour show divided by five matches equals 36 minutes per match. THAT’S not happening. Expect some NXT and Kane mixed in there for flavor.

The Miz v. R -Truth – WWE United States Championship

After holding the U.S. Title for no more than a month, R-Truth lost the championship to the Miz in a Fatal 4 Way match on Raw last week. While it was surprising, the outcome does make sense. Truth is very over with the crowd and does not need a championship to legitimize himself with the WWE Universe. On the other hand, the Miz works so much better when he is on top because it adds a new, even more annoying and braggadocios element to his character. Both of these men are on deck to become major main event stars in the near future and a feud between the two could work wonders for both Superstars. I have a problem with quick title changes because it makes the title and the wrestler holding them look weak and worthless. I cannot see the Miz dropping the U.S. Championship in less than a week. From here, the feud can continue or Truth can move into the main event. A title feud with John Morrison could be a good transition for the Miz; there is obvious history between the two, plus both are Pros on NXT so the angle could take place on more than one show. Regardless, he’s the Miz and he will retain the U.S. Title at Fatal 4 Way.

Winner: The Miz

Kofi Kingston v. Drew McIntyre – WWE Intercontinental Championship

I never thought I’d see this match again, but here we are and here it is. This entire Kingston/McIntyre/Theodore Long/Matt Hardy/Mr. McMahon pentagon has been confusing, and quite frankly, a clusterf*ck. I wish Kingston would just move on and find himself a new challenger and feud (right now, it is looking like Dolph Ziggler).The segment involving McIntyre and Long this week on Smackdown will definitely sell the fight, but what comes next? McIntyre needs to solve his Hardy conundrum and there is no need or point for the IC Title to be involved in said dispute. I am picking (and praying) that Kingston will retain his championship, finally move forward and leave McIntyre behind.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Eve Torres v. Maryse v. Gail Kim v. Alicia Fox – WWE Diva’s Championship

This match is going to be ugly. Eve and Maryse will carry the load while Gail Kim and Alicia Fox will struggle to keep up the pace with more Divas involved. Eve has held the Diva’s Title for about two months, which I consider a lengthy run for her. There has to be some sort of title change on every pay-per-view, so I am going to make a change here. Maryse winning would be too predictable and quite boring to be honest. Fox isn’t ready yet for that kind of exposure. That leaves Gail Kim. She teased some tension with Eve on Monday when she held onto the title for a bit longer than necessary. Kim is a great athlete that hasn’t had a chance to shine since returning to the WWE. Here’s her chance. I will go out on a limb and pick Gail Kim to win the Diva’s Championship.

Winner: Gail Kim

John Cena v. Sheamus v. Randy Orton v. Edge – WWE Championship

This will most likely be the main event and rightfully so. The two biggest faces and two of the biggest heels in the WWE will square off for John Cena’s WWE Championship. I am afraid that this match’s outcome will be painfully obvious. For months, the WWE has been teasing a John Cena/Sheamus feud. It started right after Extreme Rules with Sheamus demanding his shot after taking out Triple H and continued through Over The Limit, when The Celtic Warrior kicked Cena right before the show went off the air. When you put all of the pieces together, Randy Orton and Edge will cancel each other and continue their feud without the WWE Championship (for now). Cena retains and starts a lengthy program with Sheamus, one that should be more entertaining now that Sheamus has come into his own as a credible challenger and champion.

Winner: John Cena

Jack Swagger v. Rey Mysterio v. The Big Show v. C.M. Punk – World Heavyweight Championship

While the WWE Championship match’s outcome is easier to determine, the World Heavyweight Championship’s destiny is less clear. Not only is the winner harder to predict, but so are the programs each man involved will partake in once Sunday is over. I will do my best to explain where I see each participant going.

Rey Mysterio – Mysterio was originally slated to take off significant time after his feud with C.M. Punk came to a head at Over The Limit. With the Undertaker’s injury, however, Mysterio has had to stay on and take his place in the match. I still think Mysterio will take his desired time off, so not only do I see him not winning Sunday, but I also see him disappearing from WWE programming for quite some time.

C.M. Punk – Punk has become the best heel in the WWE and the Straight Edge Society is the most compelling stable since the days of Evolution. Even with all of that, Punk has floated since his amazing feud with Mysterio died down last month. Punk can’t afford to wander; not only would it affect him, but also Serena, Luke Gallows, and the Masked Man (whose identity we don’t officially know yet). I can’t see Punk winning the WHC Sunday, but I don’t know where to place him afterwards. He could feud with Kane by being responsible for the Undertaker’s attack or even for retribution considering it was Kane that allowed Mysterio to shave his head at Over The Limit. There are also some lower main-event wrestlers looking for a feud, especially M.V.P., who had his run-ins with the SES in the past. Punk always seems to follow a formula where he is inserted into the main event for months at a time before being “demoted” to mid-card feuds while WWE finds things for him to do (Check out the transition from Hell In A Cell to Royal Rumble for details). Maybe the focus can be put on Gallows for a bit. Either way, Punk needs something to do. The SES can’t be put on the shelf with the amount of heat it receives. Plus, the mask has to come off somehow and he’s not going to do it by himself.

The Big Show – As I mentioned in my Over The Limit predictions last month, Show is a great challenger, but not a great champion. I definitely can’t see him winning, but like Punk, I don’t where to place him. Perhaps the two of them could work together. Their match on Smackdown, albeit short, was very entertaining.

Jack Swagger – The World Champion has really transformed into a credible main-eventer. The WWE has already done a much better job with Swagger than they did with Sheamus earlier this year (minus all of the clean non-title losses). Rumors circulated that the Undertaker would be Swagger’s next opponent. Keeping in mind that these rumors were unveiled before Taker got hurt, he is only supposed to be out of action for about six weeks, which is plenty of time to build towards a Summerslam program (UPDATE: According to the Wrestling News Observer, the plan for Fatal 4 Way as of mid-week is to have Swagger drop the title. Also, a primary plan has the Undertaker v. Kane in a casket match at Summerslam). Even with all of these potential spoilers (which have a propensity to change at a moment’s notice), I have faith that Swagger will find a way to retain his title Sunday. I could see a mini-feud between Swagger and Kane to hold one of them over for Undertaker while also tying in the other. Swagger wins.

Winner: Jack Swagger

Be sure to come back tonight for my updated #! Pretender PPV Standings. Enjoy Fatal 4 Way and check back for new content on #1 Pretender.