- Courtesy of wwe.com
Remember when the NXT Season One Rookies absolutely destroyed Raw two weeks ago? If I haven’t told you, that was one of the most compelling angles I’ve seen on Raw since the “PG Era” began. Well, that excitement is gone now because the WWE completely dropped the ball. I will explain more on that later, but last night’s Raw failed to impress. Sure, we had a WWE Championship match, but we also had some completely ludicrous things take place, too. Before I can continue to bitch and moan, let’s take a look at last night’s Monday Night Raw.
Vince McMahon/Sheamus/John Cena promo
Mr. McMahon is out first to open the show to address the Bret Hart situation. According to McMahon, he told Bret that he would have to make tough and unpopular decisions. He failed to do that and he was “relieved of his duties.” Well, it was fun while it lasted. In retrospect, how long did the WWE really believe Hart would stay? I was shocked when he was announced as GM, and other than making Batista quit and being jumped by Nexus (The NXT group), he didn’t make any waves (No, signing the Usos doesn’t count). McMahon says this is “closure” and I am not sure if we will see Hart again. If we do, please don’t make another lame “Bret screwed Bret” angle.
McMahon then announces that a new GM has been appointed, but that said GM wants to remain anonymous. How will he communicate, you might ask? Let me tell you. He will email Michael Cole, who will read the email aloud. WHAT. David Stephens of Wrestleview liked this idea because it allows the WWE to build up a GM without whoever it may be actually having to do anything. That is true, but really? Email? Michael Cole? Not only that, but it makes that annoying Apple/iPhone noise when someone receives a text message (or for those with Macs only, the noise when you finish uploading CDs on iTunes). We are really going to have to hear this for months, huh? On the bright side, it will absolutely confuse the hell out of my roommate, who is attached to his iPhone.
Cole got mail! The first order of business is for Nexus to receive contracts and that they will address the crowd tonight. I like that. Maybe the GM won’t be too bad.
As McMahon is leaving the ring, Sheamus’ music hits and the new WWE Champion makes his way to the ring. Sheamus looks forlorn and stressed. He tells McMahon that he doesn’t feel like he earned the WWE Championship because of the way he won it and wants to relinquish it. As McMahon reaches for the title, Sheamus pulls it back and puts a huge smile on. He had me. He really did. Yet, Sheamus takes the “I don’t care how I won it because I won it” road and even thanks Nexus for their “help,” even though he claims he didn’t need it. When Sheamus became WWE Champion in December, I couldn’t believe it. In June, after six months of gaining credibility, I’m okay with Sheamus as champion. He has grown on me.
John Cena makes his obligatory appearance and enters the ring. His promo was AWFUL. Why would you be smiling and joking when you just got jumped again and lost your title in the process? Like Sheamus, Cena is in a thankful mood. Cena thanks the GM for hiring Nexus so he doesn’t have to know whether or not they will show. He thanks Sheamus for his rematch clause and thanks Bridgeport because he thinks there is no better place for said rematch. I like John Cena. I really do. But sometimes, I want to duct tape his mouth shut. Duct tape? Really? Are you serious? (Sorry, Batista moment). The whole “let’s do a rematch right now” bit usually gets rebuffed by the heel champion, which it does. EMAIL! There WILL be a title match tonight and McMahon will be the guest referee. How anti-climactic. How will the no contest happen this time? Stay tuned.
Evan Bourne v. Chris Jericho
For the third time in a week, we get this match. Fortunately, all three have been gems, so there is no need for complaint. Jericho enters the ring with a brilliant facial expression and asked for yet another rematch with Bourne, putting his career on the line to do so. As soon as he said that, I thought he would lose (Jericho has a game show on ABC that premieres tonight). Yet, he did not, which was a pleasant surprise. This match was no different than any of the previous ones, but watching Bourne and Jericho is like poetry in motion (Sorry, Hardys). Jericho can make anybody look good and giving Bourne ample time to go over and display his skills has worked wonders already. Jericho wins when he rolls out of the way of a Shooting Star Press and hits the Codebreaker. Afterwards, it looks as if Jericho might show Bourne some respect, but slams him down to the mat. This “I am now the hunted” angle is definitely intriguing. I would like to see other up-and-coming Superstars (Yoshi Tatsu comes to mind) get a shot at Jericho. It could make for entertaining television.
Virgil is in the back and he’s a sad panda. Ted DiBiase enters and apologizes for his actions last week. Then DiBiase fires him. DiBiase has found a suitable replacement: Maryse. I ain’t sayin’ she’s a golddigger. We get the best line of the night when Virgil asks DiBiase what he will do for protection. “Go to the drugstore,” says DiBiase. Priceless (pun intended). This DiBiase/Maryse plotline will be something to watch. At least it gets Maryse out of the Divas division. Or does it? Maybe DiBiase buys her the Diva’s Title? Hmmm.
Josh Mathews is with the Hart Dynasty, who believes Bret got screwed again. Tonight is her debut on Raw. Finally, some new blood in the Diva’s division.
Natalya (with WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty) v. Tamina (with Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Yeah, so much for that debut. The match lasted a minute before Nexus interrupted to make their public address.
The NXT 7 are in the ring and ready to make a statement. They apologize. Oh boy. David Otunga says they attacked everyone because they love the WWE and would do anything to get noticed. Weird. Heath Slater says it’s nothing personal. Okay. Justin Gabriel says…something. I think he apologizes to Hart and the Dynasty. Darren Young, who acknowledges the nickname “Black John Cena,” apologizes to his white doppelganger and vows that he will get his title back. Skip Sheffield yup yup yups and asks what it does. Michael Tarver apologizes to his children.
Finally, Wade Barrett gets the microphone and actually says something important and not incredibly stupid. Barrett answers on the questions that I asked myself two weeks ago:
“After beating everyone else to win NXT, what does Barrett have to offer to the other Rookies? Is there some sort of incentive?”
The answer? Loyalty. Nexus made a pact that no matter what, they would stay true to each other. Makes sense. Barrett also mentions that he has received his title shot back and that whoever is champion is on notice. He says the NXT 7 have formed a “Nexus” (Oh! He said it!) and will stick together.
Last week, they weren’t sorry. This week, they’re incredible sorry? What gives. The WWE (who has reportedly been booking this angle on the fly) is dropping the ball. They need to get it together or what has been lost (DANIELSON) will outweigh what has been gained.
Zack Ryder (with Titus O’Neil) v. John Morrison (with Eli Cottonwood)
This match was supposed to be Morrison v. DiBiase, but DiBiase comes out with Maryse and says he has better things to do, like do his taxes or play Mouse Trap (He didn’t say that). Ryder comes out instead and we get a match of NXT Pros. Good for selling the show, bad for entertainment. Morrison wins with Starship Pain. Eli Cottonwood is creepy.
John Cena is walking around in the back and Mathews asks him what he thought of Nexus’ apology. He doesn’t accept it. Uh oh…
Eve Torres & The Great Khali v. WWE Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Primo
Why bother? The faces win. Fox walks out on Primo. Wouldn’t you?
Randy Orton/The Miz/Edge promo
Randy Orton is alone in the ring and, unlike Cena, accepts the Nexus apology. Orton even hopes that Barrett wins the WWE Title so that it’ll be easier to win it back.
The Miz interrupts and says what a lot of people think: “we are tired of you in the main event.” Miz says that in time, he will hold both the U.S. and WWE Championships, something Orton, or no one else for that matter, has ever done. The Miz jumps Orton, who gets the upper hand before getting speared by Edge. Edge tells Orton that the “real fun has begun.” A Miz/Orton feud would be (sorry) awesome. Not only would it give Orton something to do while Cena takes his probable spot as #1 Contender, but it would further push the Miz into the upper echelon of the WWE. What better way for the Miz to get even better by going up against the biggest face in the company for the second summer in a row? Orton has never held the U.S. Title. Imagine that title program. So good. Hopefully, Edge’s ominous message won’t screw things up.
John Cena v. Sheamus (with Mr. McMahon as special guest referee) – WWE Championship
McMahon ended up not being the referee, but more of an “enforcer.” Sheamus definitely had the momentum throughout the match, giving Cena a beatdown. It makes Sheamus look good.
Anyways, the match ends in a no contest (Surprise!) when Nexus interferes and attacks Cena yet again. After he has been disposed of, Nexus and McMahon enter the ring and McMahon takes partial credit for everything that they have done. Nexus surrounds him and they look pissed, but then they all crack a smile. McMahon says that Nexus had him for a minute. A minute later, he’s getting his ass kicked.
The good news is is that McMahon must not really be behind Nexus. Thank goodness. That would have been the beginning of the end in terms of interest. The bad news is how many times are we going to see the SAME ATTACK every week? Look, a clothesline, a fireman’s carry slam, and a 450 Splash was cool the first time. BUT NOT EVERY TIME. Clotheslines don’t keep normal wrestlers down. DO SOMETHING ELSE. Sheffield has a cool finisher. Use that! This is getting really old really fast. After what happened two weeks ago, the WWE is sinking with this. Fix it now or prepare to lose what was unfathomable momentum.