WWE Monday Night Raw Report: May 31, 2010

Posted: June 1, 2010 in Raw, Show Report
Tags: ,

Courtesy of wwe.com

Let me be blunt. Last night’s Monday Night Raw was almost perfect. Here’s a quick rundown of what we had last night: an announcement of a “new” Raw concept coupled with an unannounced return of a huge WWE figure, a match that has been pushed for the past three months, a capable guest host, the formal introduction of a new tag team, AND the unexpected push of a mid-carder. This was the best edition of Raw in at least two months. Let’s look at it.

Evan Bourne/Edge/Randy Orton promo

The show starts abruptly with Edge beating the crap out of Evan Bourne. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler inform us that Bourne came out to challenge for Edge’s spot at Fatal 4 Way because he was tired of waiting for an opportunity. Bourne gets the comeback that the crowd wants, but is upended by Edge with a Spear. That’s Bourne’s job (no pun intended); he gets his ass kicked by the main event guys. We probably won’t hear from him again (Boy, was I wrong). Anyways, Edge cuts a promo on Fatal 4 Way and covers all three of his opponents: the “superhero” John Cena, the “bulldozer” Sheamus, and of course, Randy Orton. Edge knows Orton is not 100% and plants seeds of doubt in the WWE Universe by telling him that Orton, a “snake in the grass,” will strike them eventually, too. Orton interrupts and plays the “silent, but deadly” type. I love it when Edge talks and Orton stares; it’s always a great dynamic. Orton hits the RKO and poses to end the segment. The WWE is protecting his shoulder, but still keeps him in the mix. Good work all around.

Eve Torres/Ashton Kutcher/The Miz promo

Ashton Kutcher is in the back on his Twitter complaining about how Zack Ryder has been talking trash about him all day. Eve enters and Ashton lets her know about his Ryder problem. To promote his new film, “Killers,” he says he has put a hit on Ryder tonight and it could be anyone. Could Ryder be getting a rub? Anyways, the Miz enters and Kutcher holds his own. Kutcher did a great job of interacting with the Superstars and displayed knowledge of the WWE, which has been a problem with some hosts. There were a lot of weird cuts to the arena watching the tron. Kutcher does one better when he tells Miz that he and Bret Hart have signed Daniel Bryan to a one-night contract and the two will have a match later. Awwwwweeeesssssoooommmmee.

WWE United States Champion R-Truth v. Chris Jericho

When the WWE needs someone to elevate talent, they call on Chris Jericho and for good reason. R-Truth is the new U.S. Champion, but still needs some help to get over as a credible champion. This match will help. It was a solid back-and-forth contest. The roll-up out of the Walls of Jericho was well done and it is amusing to see how many counters wrestlers have come up with to combat Jericho’s hold. Truth wins and is rolling. Jericho is floating around right now, but a feud with Truth over the U.S. Title would be entertaining.

Zack Ryder/Bret Hart/Hart Dynasty promo

Ryder questions the “Hit Man” about being the one to do the job. Hart blows him off and is later joined by the Hart Dynasty. The Dynasty asks him who the team was who ambushed them last week. Hart says they are the Usos and he signed them. I liked how Hart told the Dynasty that he would not do them any favors. As a face team, that would make no sense. Effective segment.

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Santino Marella v. Maryse & William Regal (with Vlad Kozlov)

Before the match, Santino cuts another promo where he attempted to influence Kozlov to join forces, but not before making a “Darth Vader” joke about Regal’s music and offering Eve to make love to Kozlov. Once the match started, it ended just as quickly. Kozlov enters the ring when the referee is distracted and hits Regal with an ugly uranage/chokeslam. I guess the “Dream Team” is getting together. This should be good.

Bret Hart/Ted DiBiase/Ashton Kutcher/Vince McMahon promo

Hart comes to the ring to announce a deal he made with Smackdown GM Theodore Long. Said deal is a three hour special next week with both Raw and Smackdown Superstars. Hart even asks for suggestions from the crowd and the guys in the back. Ted DiBiase answers and enters the ring with Virgil in tow. DiBiase proposes a counteroffer, which would be to sell him the GM position next week. This is the kind of angle that I had hoped DiBiase would undertake. Ashton Kutcher, who must not be in the arena, proposes a “Viewer’s Choice” show where the fans can vote on the matches and stipulations, much like Cyber Sunday/Taboo Tuesday. All is forgotten when Vince McMahon makes an unexpected return. Instead of getting a rub from McMahon, DiBiase leaves. The burial continues. First, he tries to buy eyeballs, then he gets shunned. I guess his trust fund must not be as impressive to others. Oh well.

McMahon acts chummy with Hart, even asking how many chair shots he took at Wrestlemania. Hart is hesitant to fully trust McMahon and rightfully so. McMahon even teases answering why he would hire Hart after all they had been through, but instead is very vague and wishes Hart luck. I don’t have much to say because I don’t know where this is going. In the mean time, maybe McMahon can explain why he is a part of Drew McIntyre’s letter-writing campaign.

Zack Ryder/Randy Orton/Edge backstage promo

Ryder is starting to get paranoid, and as a “future legend,” decides to ask Orton, known to kill such legends, if he is the one who Kutcher hired to take him out. Orton denies it. I like when two Superstars who have never interacted are placed together. Anyways, the door slams on Orton’s shoulder and Edge walks out from behind the door. This makes sense because even though Orton is not as injured as the WWE had thought, he shouldn’t risk injuring his shoulder before Fatal 4 Way. He had to be taken out of the match somehow.

The Miz v. “Daniel Bryan”

Am I surprised that the WWE gave this match, one that has been three months in the making, away on free television? Yes. Am I complaining? Hell no. The intensity and hatred between the two could be felt from my living room; that’s lacking these days. The Miz goes on the offensive for most of the match, but Bryan reverses the Miz into a crossface/armbar. The Miz reverses with a pinning combination, but Bryan counters with a pin of his own and gets the victory. While celebrating his victory, Bryan gets jumped by Miz and thrown to the outside. Miz picks up Bryan and places him in front of Michael Cole for a “proper apology.” Bryan fights out and throws Miz into Cole. I thought that Cole/Miz would finally get one on Bryan tonight to even the feud, but I guess that won’t happen just yet. Bryan is on a roll. This isn’t over. This is the best thing happening on WWE television right now.

The Usos/Tamina promo

When we return from commercial, the Usos are in the ring with Tamina introducing themselves to the WWE Universe. Jimmy and Jules are the sons of Rikishi and Tamina is the daughter of Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. These aren’t your typical Samoans. Instead of blending in (their father, the late Umaga, Manu), they act more thug-like, if you will. They even made mention of this, “taking your scholarships” and what not. The Usos call out the Dynasty, telling them that they are no longer the only family bred for success on Raw and that last “weekend,” they proved that they were the more dominant team. The only thing I could think about the entire time was Rikishi’s “I did it for the Rock” promo from several years ago, when he felt that Samoans were disrespected and held back. Tamina echoes these statements, but before she can continue, the Dynasty runs down to seek retribution. Unfortunately for the Dynasty, that didn’t happen. Tamina gives Natalya a brutal clothesline on the outside while Jimmy and Jules hit Smith with a double superkick and Kidd with a very impressive double-team samoan drop. The Usos end the assault with the simultaneous frog splashes. I am very impressed and intrigued by the Usos and Tamina. Finally, it seems like a credible heel team has returned to the WWE tag team ranks. “Seems,” however, is the key word. Stay tuned.

Zack Ryder v. Alicia Fox

After wondering all night about who would put the “hit” on Zack Ryder, we find out, but it takes an awful long time. First, Jerry Lawler gets in the ring. But it isn’t Jerry. Then, the Great Khali comes out. But it’s not Khali (Thank G_d). Then Goldust’s music hits. But it’s not Goldust. Who the hell is it? It’s Alicia Fox. Um, what? How anti-climatic. Just when I thought Ryder was getting the rub I had hoped for in my Superstars report last week, he gets buried by a Diva. Is it safe to say that Ryder is the new Santino?

WWE Champion john Cena & Evan Bourne v. Edge & Sheamus

After Edge’s ambush of Orton earlier, Cena was left without a partner. However, he was able to find to a replacement, someone that Edge also ambushed earlier: Evan Bourne. I did not expect to see Bourne in the main event; as a jobber to the stars, I thought the WWE trotted Bourne out at the start of Raw just to give Edge someone “credible” to beat up on. Bourne has had his fair share of matches with main event talent (Sheamus, C.M. Punk, etc.), but the outcome is never in question. Yet, this was one of the hottest main events, if not the hottest, Raw has had all year. Bourne is incredibly over with the crowd and pairing him with Cena made it even louder. He held his own against Sheamus and Edge and did not look out of place. Bourne is one of the best sellers in WWE; everything looks more brutal when he takes it. Check out the Spear he takes at the top of the show. Nothing out of the ordinary happened during this match. The good guys win when Sheamus attempts the bicycle kick, but Cena moves out of the way, leaving Sheamus to run into a big kick from Bourne. Cena hits an impressive twisting FU (Er, Attitude Adjustment), dodges a Spear from Edge, tags in Bourne for the Shooting Star Press and collects what could be an “upset” to end the show. Sheamus is protected by taking two finishers to put him down.

Take a look at the picture at the top of this column. Did you ever think you’d see that? Neither did I. The only thing that would have made this match perfect was if Bourne got the pin on Edge. Along with Danielson and Rey Mysterio (someone who I believe Bourne is on his way to becoming), it seems that the WWE is finally pushing the little guys. There is always a segment every once in a while where a mid-carder feels “disrespected” and calls out a big dog, but it never ends with the mid-carder headlining the show and getting the victory. I hope Bourne is here to stay in the main event picture. I can’t remember the last time I popped for a Raw main event. A fantastic way to end a fantastic show.

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