WWE Monday Night Raw Report: May 10, 2010

Posted: May 11, 2010 in Raw, Show Report
Tags: ,

Courtesy of wwe.com.

Last night’s Monday Night Raw was, for lack of a better term, a clusterfuck. We had a guest host, but then another rock star came out. Then we had the guest host’s power taken away and a new (and former) GM put in its place. Finally, the GM seemingly resigned at the end of the night by virtue of threat. What the hell? After you process all of that, I will attempt to explain this episode of Raw to you. I am not making any promises. Let’s get started.

Randy Orton/Meat Loaf/Edge/Vickie Guerrero promo

Yes. it says Meat Loaf. I will get there. Orton starts the show by coming to the ring and explaining his actions against Edge last week on the Cutting Edge. According to Orton, Edge just wanted to have his biggest threat under his control. That makes sense. But before he could continue, Meat Loaf stumbles down to ringside. Why in the HELL is Meat Loaf on this show? He plugs his new album (Out today, I might add. I think that was the point of the segment). Long story short, Meat Loaf makes an ass out of himself and gets an RKO for his troubles. This brings out Edge, who brings up Orton’s penchant for assaulting celebrities and guest hosts (Meat Loaf, Wayne Brady, Freddie Prinze, Seth Green). Edge says he doesn’t like them either. Here is where I thought Edge was once again trying to recruit Orton. But it takes an interesting turn. Edge continues, saying that he has contacted WWE Global and they “tweeted” him back, agreeing that Raw guest hosts should have no authority and a permanent GM should be put in place. Out comes Vickie Guerrero to a chorus of “Excuse Me” and boos. She has officially been put in place as Raw GM once again. Her first act as GM is making a handicap match, placing Orton against Edge and a partner of his choosing.

This is quite confusing, considering that there were promos about Buzz Aldrin hosting Raw next week throughout the show. Not only that, but I didn’t think that the WWE would end the guest host gig so abruptly. Yet, there really weren’t many options for a Raw figurehead. Vickie is a heat magnet, which is always good, but frankly, she’s annoying and old news. The heel GM concept was driven into the ground with Eric Bischoff and Guerrero, but it continues to resurrect, so the WWE must see something in it. This will be something to watch.

Chris Jericho v. David Hart Smith – If Jericho wins, he and the Miz get a WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match at Over The Limit

Per the stipulation above, it was pretty obvious that Jericho would emerge victorious. This was a good five-minute match, but nothing spectacular. Jericho wins with the Codebreaker via an eye rake. I am looking forward to this match at Over The Limit.

R-Truth (with guest host Flava Flav) v. William Regal

R-Truth is out with Flav by his side, hyping his “What’s Up” theme song. Flav looks lost, but after being a devoted follower of the Flavor of Love trilogy (don’t judge me), I was not surprised. You can see Regal pacing outside the ring, so I guess that’s Truth’s opponent. Flav plugs his new show, which sounds awful. The match finally begins and ends just as quickly when the Colons run in and attack Truth. After the damage has been done, Ted DiBiase emerges and hands Primo and Carlito envelopes. This raises the question: Did the Colons reunite on Superstars last week with the purpose of being DiBiase’s “Virgils?” Or is this something to waste time until Brett DiBiase and Joe Henning get called up? For those of you unaware, reports have surfaced that DiBiase and Henning, known as the “Fortunate Sons” in FCW, would be called up to reform their stable with Ted and turn heel in the process. Recently, however, Brett injured his knee so the plans were put on hold. The Colons could make good henchmen for DiBiase in the mean time.

Eve Torres/Maryse video package

Since there was no Divas match this week, we get a video package highlighting Eve’s rise to the Diva’s Championship. It was not bad. After the package. we see Maryse in the ring with a trainer working on what looks like judo. The trainer questions Maryse’s work ethic, which leads her to attack him. This was pretty unrealistic to me and does not really help anything. I like the idea of Maryse feeling inadequate to Eve (or so it seems), but maybe do the training segment in a more convincing fashion.

Zack Ryder v. Evan Bourne

Ryder is in the ring and Alicia Fox and Gail Kim are once again at ringside. Ryder wants to prove himself worthy (again) and even compliments Alicia before the match. Last week, the Divas seemed very unimpressed with Ryder, so why is Alicia so gaga over him this week? Don’t make me get on the continuity soapbox again. Anyways, the match between Ryder and Bourne was a solid mid-card bout. Near the end of the match, Alicia gets out of her chair in an attempt to distract Bourne from hitting the Shooting Star Press. Gail knocks Alicia off the apron and Bourne is able to hit a nasty SSP. It looked like Ryder was going to get up the entire time as he was slowly rolling towards the turnbuckle. Bourne hits it anyways and it looks like he catches Ryder’s head with his knee. That’s what I meant by nasty. Gail leaves with Bourne and I smell a mixed tag match next week on Raw.

John Cena/Sheamus/Batista promo

After the break, Cena makes his way to the ring to announce the stipulation of his match with Batista at Over The Limit. Rumor had it that Cena would announce a “Loser Leaves WWE” match, which would make the outcome extremely obvious. Instead, he announces an “I Quit” match, which makes it slightly less, but still pretty obvious. Much like Cena’s feud with Orton last year, he says that this will be the final encounter between Batista and himself. Cena goes as far as stating that he will waive his rematch clause if he was to lose. Cena then goes even further, thanking Sheamus for giving him extra time to think about the stipulation and then calls him out. The “human jar of mayonnaise” answers and Cena goads him to the ring. You can see Cena looking behind him and his gut feeling is validated when Batista comes through the crowd. Batista and Sheamus then dismantle Cena before Mark Henry, of all people, runs in to thwart Batista’s plan. Why, after arguing for the past several weeks, are Batista and Sheamus helping each other? I am getting the continuity soapbox out of the closet. I see a Sheamus-Cena feud after Batista is wrapped up. Stay tuned.

Tyson Kidd v. The Miz – If Kidd wins, Miz must defend the U.S. Title against a Hart family member of his choosing

Kidd wins with a gorgeous springboard roll-up. The Miz asks Kidd if he has really something since the stipulation allows Miz to select his opponent. I was pretty sure he was going to pick Natalya, but he decides on Bret instead. Bret has made it known that his WWE contract expires around May 17, which happens to be next Monday. Expect a big sendoff by the Miz and an even bigger push because of it.

The NXT Rookies v. John Morrison, Santino Marella, Goldust, and Yoshi Tatsu – 8 v. 4 Handicap Match

I’m not going to lie. When the WWE Superstars came out in Morrison’s slow motion, I was laughing pretty hysterically as Santino did his “air trombone” thing. It looked hilarious in slo-mo. Anyways, this was a good way to plug tonight’s NXT, which features the first elimination. Daniel Bryan finally gets a win on WWE television when he rolls up Santino for the victory. The NXT Rookies show solidarity, and for the first time since its inception, I am looking forward to tonight’s NXT (Report tomorrow).

Another lame Bella Twins/guest host/Santino/Regal/Kozlov skit. Did anyone else notice that Flav’s explanation to the Bellas was EXACTLY the same as it was to the WWE Universe earlier? Regal raps. It’s pretty bad. Moving on.

Batista v. Mark Henry

Batista sitting in the chair made me laugh. He attacks Henry as he walks into the ring because it takes him about five minutes to get through the ropes. Batista attacks the shoulder and then puts Henry in a modified crossface/armbar. This explains why Henry was used earlier; not for a possible push, but for a glorified squash. If only M.V.P. could have come out to help his partner. Oh wait. Nevermind.

Randy Orton v. Edge and Ted DiBiase – 2 v. 1 Handicap Match

Edge makes his way out with Guerrero in tow. Edge’s mystery partner is none other than Orton’s former Legacy brethren, Ted DiBiase. A pretty good contest, with every man getting his “vintage” moves and spots. Orton wins with the RKO after R-Truth distracts DiBiase. After the match, Orton stalks Vickie, who tries to threaten termination, but can only yelp and squeal. She pleads with Edge to get up, but hastily resigns in order to escape Orton. Edge gets up but Orton hits him with another RKO.

So Raw gains and loses a GM in one night. Reports have it that she was brought in for one night, but since the WWE was impressed by her heat magnetism, she might be brought on full-time. There are two very important questions that comes out of all this. What happens to Team LayCool?!? Are Matt Striker’s cougar hunting days over? Just kidding. This episode was a complete logjam. Hopefully, things will be cleared up next week.

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